Upgrade Your Poop!
There are few things in life both more rewarding and easily obtainable than taking an incredibly prodigious dump. This may be the first you’re hearing it, but the healthiest people are those with the biggest poops. Don’t waste another second languishing in your constipated mediocracy! Discover here the right way to fuel your stool.
Many years ago a close family member passed away prematurely of colon cancer. Since I turned 40 I’ve been aware of the need for regular colonoscopies and increased fiber in my diet.
I’ve had two clean colonoscopies so far. After my last one, the doctor told me I had diverticulosis throughout my entire colon and that I need to eat a lot of fiber in my diet, daily, for the rest of my life. And drink plenty of water.
The benefits of fiber include:
- Improved bowel movements
- Improved bowel health
- Reduction in blood sugar
- Reduction of some cancers
- Weight control
So I committed to increase my daily fiber and water intake. It’s easy to do; I just eat plenty of fruits, vegetables, and legumes every day, often in a smoothie. I also fill up my 40-oz water bottle multiple times a day.
For extra support in the fiber department, I started using small amounts of psyllium husk once or twice a day. My personal results have been remarkable! YMMV. Always consult a physician before starting any new health regimen. With psyllium, more is not better.
Though mostly true, the rest of this post is in poor taste. You’ve been warned.
I still remember that first poop after taking my psyllium supplement. It was enormous and gloriously well-formed. I can hardly remember ever having had such a handsome poop of this magnitude. Hippopotamuses would be jealous!
The supererogatory mass emerged effortlessly and immediately.
And the toilet paper was utterly pristine afterwards – like I could have put it back on the roll and no one would have noticed.
Imagine Oumuamua in your toilet. That’s how I’m living now. It’s satisfying to anticipate how large the poops will be each time, like having a contest with myself.
The cathartic sensation refreshes me like a good night’s sleep – multiple times a day.
I was tempted to add a collage showing the various colorful shapes, but thought better of it.
I never want to go back to the old, soggy, anemic poops.
#fiberisthenewprotein
